January 2016

It’s February already, if you can believe it.  Actually, having just typed that, I’m now pondering the point, as January seems to have simultaneously zipped by and lasted FOREVER.  It’s been a month of sadness, as we lost icon after icon. Bowie, Rickman and yesterday, in the dying embers of the month, Wogan.  But January is also a month of newness, rebirth, optimism and goal setting.  And on that front, I’m really happy with how the month went.

This year, as well as setting big annual goals, I’ve set smaller monthly goals to achieve.  I’ve never been very good at sticking to things for a long time, so I think the smaller goals are a better idea for me.  Further, I have set myself three achievement levels for each month. 

PRIDE: This is the minimum that I want to achieve to finish the month with my head held high

STRETCH: Taking it to the next level, pushing it just a little further

WILDEST DREAMS: Superstretch! Go on, dream big

So what did this look like for January, and how did I do?  Let’s find out……

PRIDE: Complete a January Whole30.  A big tick against this one, although midway through the month, this result felt entirely uncertain.  I had got to around day 14 and I was ready to give up.  However, I was not ready to give up before I’d been to the first ever UK Whole30 seminar that Melissa Hartwig was hosting on the 16^th. Imagine turning up there with the knowledge that you’d fallen off the wagon the day before. Mortifying.  And it was a good choice to hang in there, as I left the room full of motivation, with a picture of myself with Melissa and her signature in my copy of It Starts with Food.  Gigantic win.  

@melissa_hartwig describing chocolate cake in excruciating detail at the @whole30 #whole30uk seminar #invisiblechocolatecake #whereisit? #rightthereonthelecturn

A photo posted by @readyamefire on Jan 16, 2016 at 3:11am PST

This was not my first Whole30.  I’ve done a few before and certainly haven’t finished all of them…

1. September 2014. Finished 30 days, but epic fail at the reintroduction phase.  I chose to reintroduce dairy first and fell face first into a cheese induced coma. With icecream. And more cheese.
2. January 2015.  Quit partway through.  A friend of mine died at the beginning of January last year and his wake was held at the restaurant where he had been head chef.  The food served was from his menu, and honouring him felt significantly more important than sticking to the Whole30 plan.  It was a definite, mindful choice and I have no regrets about it.
3. April 2015. Epic fail. Woeful.  I went and gave blood and afterwards dove into the crisps and chocolate bars in a face stuffing frenzy of monumental proportions. Oops.
4. September 2015. Success! (ish).  Finished the 30 days, just didn’t bother with the reintroduction.  I think I was so ready to be done with it and desperate for some of the foods I’d been craving that I just stopped.

So this was my fifth attempt at a Whole30 and I think it’s the one that has affected me most (so far!).  A lot of that is to do with listening to Melissa speak, so I’m really grateful to have had the opportunity to do that.

STRETCH: Get under 15 stone.  15 stone! FIFTEEN STONE?!?!?! Deary me, where did things go so wrong?  Last year was a really difficult one.  I found myself in a really difficult and emotional situation with a member of my team at work, which really affected me.  Aside from that, we relocated to the London office, meaning a significant lifestyle change, all with the ever present, looming threat of redundancy.  Fun times.  When I’m in a bad place, food is my go to place for comfort.  There is not a single emotion that isn’t made better by smothering it in a soothing layer of cheese.  Then a layer of crisps. Then some chocolate. And then some more crisps.  And why not make it fizzylicious by pouring some Pepsi Max with cherry over it?  Go on, you’re worth it.  So I ended the year about 2.5 stone heavier than I started it and frankly, I wasn't in tiptop shape to begin with.  WOE.  So although Whole30 is much more than a quick fix weight loss plan, there’s no denying that it’s a great kickstart to healthy eating and therefore weight loss is a cheery side effect.  Again, I can put a big tick next to this goal, as I lost a total of 11lb in the last 30 days.  WHOOP.

WILDEST DREAMS: Fit back into walking trousers. Due to being such a gigantic fatso last year, I spent the second half of the year walking Murdoch wearing tracksuit bottoms in all weathers, finding myself completely unable to fit into my walking trousers.  EXTREME WOE. The good news is that I tried on the walking trousers yesterday and although they are still quite snug, I can put them on and do them up.  WINNING.

So all in all, I’m counting January as quite a success.  And I’ve already got my goals together for February too.

PRIDE: Complete the full Whole30 reintroduction, properly, without titting about.

STRETCH: Complete at least three NTC workouts per week and swim at least twice a week

WILDEST DREAMS: Get down to 14 stone

Watch this space............

It's not about weight loss

Today is day 31 and I have successfully completed my Whole30. Hoorah!

I shan't go into detail about the programme, if you don't know what it is, please refer to my halfway point blog here.

The main thing that I've noticed is that no matter how many times you try to explain why you're doing it - it's about resetting your metabolism, cleaning down your system so that when you reintroduce food groups afterwards, you have a clear idea of their effect. It's about examining your relationship with food to better understand why you eat the things you do (addiction, habit) - most people just want to know.....

How much weight have you lost? 

So you try to explain that it's not about weight loss.  It's about resetting your metabolism, cleaning down your system so that when you reintroduce food groups afterwards, you have a clear idea of their effect. It's about examining your relationship with food to better understand why you eat the things you do. Blah blah blah. And they smile and nod and then tell you that you look great, like you've lost a lot of weight. Which is great, it really is. But it is not the point.

So this morning, when I had this conversation with my colleague:

Colleague: "So are you going to go wild in the aisles for dinner tomorrow night?"

Me: "Errrm no. That would have made the last 30 days a bit pointles, wouldn't it."

C: "Would it? Why's that?"

M: "Because the whole idea is to clean your system and then slowly reintroduce foods one by one to see the effect they have on you"

C: "Oh. I thought it was going to be a 'school's out' kind of situation"

M: "No"

C: "Oh."

Me: *quietly goes to ladies loo to BANG MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL*

I wanted to scream.

As a society, we're so obsessed with that number on the scale. On how we look. On what dress size we can squeeze ourselves into.  And really none of that matters a crap.

Which is why I love the friends who have asked me "How do you feel?". Because that's the point.  

And how do I feel?  I feel great.  I didn't really notice that I didn't feel great before, because when you feel that low-level-just-meh all the time, you get used to it.  It's being in the monkey house and not realising that it smells like poo. But you learn it on days 2-4, when you have a killer headache as you experience the caffeine and sugar come down. You realise how powerful those substances are when they leave your body and they are not going to go quietly. They are going to rage, rage against the dying of the light.

You notice it when you have a moment of panic on day 28 about what you might find yourself eating on days 31+ when you "can eat whatever you want" and then have a moment of epiphany when you realise that you could have eaten anything you wanted for the entirety of the Whole30, you've not been locked in a prison cell.  You have simply chosen not to. Doesn't that feel great? To take back control and realise that you can have a packet of crisps, if you want. It doesn't mean you have to feel bad about it, or subsequently eat an entire multipack. You can have a bit of chocolate, if you want to. I bought a slab of this to celebrate the end of my Whole30, chopped it into small sections, had one piece and shared the rest with my colleagues. One piece was enough. What a revelation.

Would I recommend doing Whole30? Well generally I hate to evangelise about things.  I get so annoyed when people who say things like "Have you seen Blah blah film? No?! You have to!". Actually, no I don't have to and I probably won't, so please shut up. So I won't tell you to do it.  I'll just tell you that in doing this, I have taken the first steps to changing my life for the better. The past 30 days have taught me a huge amount, about the food that I eat, about the person that I am.

And if you're the one sat there thinking "It just sounds so hard!", I'll leave you with this from the Whole30 website:

It is not hard. Don’t you dare tell us this is hard. Beating cancer is hard. Birthing a baby is hard. Losing a parent is hard. Drinking your coffee black. Is. Not. Hard. You’ve done harder things than this, and you have no excuse not to complete the program as written. It’s only thirty days, and it’s for the most important health cause on earth – the only physical body you will ever have in this lifetime.