tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8768990538778058862024-03-13T15:26:45.599+00:00Murdoch, She WroteAmyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.comBlogger126125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-48630491849352127132016-04-01T13:08:00.001+01:002016-04-01T13:08:14.399+01:00Balance<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I have, my entire adult life, struggled to find balance. No matter how many times I try to tell myself to take it easy, see how you get on, don’t overcommit, I always start something full pelt, fail to stick with it and then feel dreadful about yet another failure.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I make to do lists and then feel upset and anxious about my failure to tick everything (or anything!) off it. In reality I shouldn’t be surprised by this, I talked at great length in my last <a href="http://murdoch-shewrote.blogspot.co.uk/2016/03/paralysis.html" target="_blank">post</a> about the paralysis caused by my anxiety and depression. But that doesn’t stop me beating myself up over it all, causing even greater levels of anxiety…. and on it goes.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I’m all or nothing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I’m either Whole30 or I’m eating my own body weight in crisps, cake, scones, bread, washing it down with a small lake of Pepsi Max. I’ll try to be sensible with my food, but then I’ll eat something unhealthy and I’ll think FUCK IT, I might as well just eat ALL OF THINGS now and for the rest of the week because I have already RUINED IT.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I’ll exercise every day for a week and then I’ll miss a day and then a second day and then a third and then I’ll think FUCK IT, I can’t stick to ANYTHING, what is WRONG with me, it is all so POINTLESS, I don’t know why I BOTHER WITH ANYTHING.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">It has to stop. There must be a balance to be found. And I’ve made a start. You remember those monthly goals that I’ve been working on? I’ve decided that having a pass / fail attitude towards them is only exacerbating my all or nothing outlook. After all, if your goal is to walk 7k steps every day for a month, what’s the point of carrying on if you fail to hit that count on day two, right? Because you have failed already. Why bother? Not a very helpful thought process at all. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">So instead, I’m giving myself a grading system, with grades A+ → F based on how much progress I made towards completing each monthly goal (in percentage terms). For March, I found this worked really well. It’s helped me to see that even though I might not do all of the things, all of the time, the effect is cumulative. For example, I didn’t complete my channel swim distance goal, but I completed 17% of the remaining distance. I may not have completed the 7k steps every day, but I did do it on 27 out of 31 days. I did at least two NTC workouts on three weeks out of the five. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Because I’m such a nerd, I have a little spreadsheet to log all of this and I found it helpful to update my progress on the goals throughout the month. I used this information to persuade myself to go for a walk around the block to get my step count up, because at the moment, you’ve only got a C. No one wants March to go out with a C, kid. Get out there and do some walking. I could also see which activity would help me to increase my overall monthly percentage the most, helping me to prioritise that activity, when I knew that I didn’t have capacity to do everything. Wow. That’s a little bit of balance, right there.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">March went out with a B grade. I’m happy with that. And I’ve set my new goals for April too: </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Goal 1: Finish channel swim goal</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Goal 2: Don't buy food or drink in London</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Goal 3: No sleeping during the day</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I'm rolling over that channel swim goal, I'm determined to try to get that finished this month. I've got 894 lengths to go!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The second goal is to try and focus on more healthy choices, forcing me to plan and make choices ahead of time, rather than just throwing stuff in a basket and eating enough food for three people (which happens a LOT).</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'trebuchet ms', sans-serif;">The third goal may seem a little........odd. But I sleep a lot. I mean really A LOT. Sleep is my escape from the world. It passes the time without my brain having to do much of anything. Often I spend an entire weekend sleeping. Sometimes, on my work from home days, I'll have a nap at lunchtime and then another when I finish work, before I make dinner. I love sleep. But I recognise that what started as another symptom of the depression has become a habit that is stealing my life away and I'm going to try and break it this month.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Stay tuned to see how I get on!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">PS, in other news........</span></div>
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BDlFuazBO0S/" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Can we please all take a moment to enjoy how empty and clean my kitchen sink is?</a></div>
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A photo posted by @readyamefire on <time datetime="2016-03-30T13:52:21+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Mar 30, 2016 at 6:52am PDT</time></div>
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<script async="" defer="" src="//platform.instagram.com/en_US/embeds.js"></script>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-31102342586949393502016-03-11T12:45:00.000+00:002016-03-11T13:58:39.206+00:00Paralysis<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I don't tend to write very much about my depression. I don't want that to be what this blog is about. Quick, let me distract you with a picture of Murdoch.</span></div>
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BCktBWtBO2E/" style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" target="_blank">A photo posted by @readyamefire</a> on <time datetime="2016-03-05T13:45:06+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Mar 5, 2016 at 5:45am PST</time></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Look at that gorgeous little bastard.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Mostly, I'd rather use this space to tell you about the things that I <b>am</b> doing rather than the things that I'm not doing. There are a million things that I'm not doing.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I'm not washing my hair every day, because every single day starts with me having to negotiate with myself get out of bed and face the world and sometimes the only way to do that is to tell myself that I don't have to wash and dry my hair, just get in the shower and you can tie it back in a pony tail.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I'm not showering every day, because sometimes that negotiation doesn't work and I have to get up and go as I am, because life doesn't stop and you can't call in sick to work and tell them that it's because your brain can't comprehend how to make your limbs move. That your brain refuses to make them move because the world is out there and it's too much. So you make your limbs move and you go out there and you face it. Every day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I don't do the washing up every day, I do it about once or twice a week. I sit on the sofa feeling anxious about the fact that there is washing up in the sink. Worrying that it's been there for days. Thinking about what I can cook for dinner that doesn't involve using the stuff that needs washing up. But I don't do the washing up. It's beyond me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I sit on the sofa, not sorting and putting away the pile of clean underwear that has been sat next to me for weeks. Instead I just take a pair of knickers and a bra from the pile each morning and add more clean stuff when I can find it within myself to put a wash on..... to put a wash on?! Seriously?! I'm not going down to the river to beat it with a rock. I'm popping it in the washing machine in the kitchen and waiting for it to finish. But then, you see, I'll have to hang it up to dry, which will inevitably lead to it needing to be put away, or GOD FORBID ironed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I don't see my friends and family as much as I would like. I have to talk myself into it, every time. I know that I'll enjoy time with them once I'm there. But GOD, the effort of it. Because I'll have to shower and wash my hair and style it and put on some make up and find something to wear and oh no, the laundry hasn't been done and nothing fits and OH! there's something that fits screwed up at the back of the cupboard, but CRAP I'm going to have to fucking iron it for FUCK'S SAKE. And that's before I've even got the other side of the front door. And I'll have to think of stuff to say that makes it sound as though my life is busy and fun and full, because you can't tell your friends that you've spent most of the week sitting on the sofa in a Mexican standoff with a pile of underwear. They'd probably understand, because they're good people, these friends and family of mine. But nonetheless, you don't say it, because you don't want to sound like a crazy person. Or almost worse, a lazy person.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I've become pretty bad at looking after myself. It's difficult to comprehend how you're going to make it to the swimming pool, when your own pants are mocking you from the next seat. It recently took me four weeks to get around to making a dentist appointment, even though my gums were bleeding. I was bleeding from my mouth, sitting on the sofa, wondering what to do about my socks and the pile of washing up and dear god I haven't cleaned the bathroom for weeks and it's been three days since I washed my hair.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">My very wise friend B said that one of the things about depression is that it takes the word "just" out of your vocabulary. You are incapable of thinking "I'll <b>just</b> pop to the shops" or "I'll <b>just</b> put this pile of pants away" or "I'll <b>just</b> go for a quick swim". There is no just. There is no lightness of feeling that these are small daily tasks that you're more than capable of doing in a jiffy. Everything has weight. It's hard. It all feels so hard. And so you get paralysed because your brain has turned you into a lump of rock and you can't imagine being able to make the effort it takes to get enough momentum to get moving. Ironically, the big stuff is a bit easier, because the need to do big things (such as going to LA) is a giant shove that gets the momentum started and you just try and keep it rolling. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">SO. In amongst all of that stuff, I'm going to take a moment to think about the things that I have been able to do.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I did eventually go to the dentist and it was just a build up of tartar. I get the washing up done, once or twice a week. I get the laundry done, even if it never quite makes it to the drawers. I get the dog walked every day. I go to work and do the best job that I can. I see my friends and family and try to keep in contact with them via text or whatsapp when I can't find the oomph to go out and see them. I am (and will continue) doing the best I can. What else is there? </span></div>
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Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-32106241701343418412016-03-09T17:26:00.000+00:002016-03-10T12:07:28.112+00:00Rituals<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">This is going to be brief, in order to make up for the excessively lengthy post I published yesterday, which probably took about 10 minutes of your life to read. You're never going to get that back, y'know.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">When I was a kid, we always used to go on a long summer holiday to France each year. Dad would hitch the caravan onto the back of the car and Mum would get some maps out of the library so that we could find our way about; this was a simpler time, before satnavs came into use. The journey through France had a number of rituals and landmarks that would have to be met.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">1. The ceremonial first spotting of a Norbert Dentressangle lorry*. We were not officially on holiday until the first of these (known to us as Norbert Dextrasol) had been spotted, with </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">HUGE kudos going to the person who made the spot. </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">On some very exciting occasions, this would happen at the ferry port before we'd even left the UK. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">2. The ceremonial falling out between me and my sister. My poor parents. It was a long car journey down through France and there was a lot of squabbling. I remember on one memorable occasion when I was still very little, when we were arguing so strenuously that my dad screeched to a halt, kicked us out of the car and drove off, leaving us by the side of the road. For about 10 seconds probably, but it scared the shit out of us, as we stood there, comparing how many sweeties we had and wondering how long they'd last us.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">3. The ceremonial falling out between my parents. My mother is an intelligent woman, with a quite frankly phenomenal sense of direction, which I (to a certain extent) have been lucky enough to inherit (together with a butt that just won't quit). However, she is also unfortunately directionally dyslexic, leading to many situations like this:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Mum: *ascertaining need to turn left* <consults and="" ascertains="" for="" left="" map="" need="" turn="">"You need to turn right here"</consults></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Dad: *starts to turn right*<starts right="" to="" turn=""></starts></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Mum *gesticulating wildly with left hand* <gesticulates hand="" left="" wildly="" with="">"RIGHT! TURN RIGHT! NO! RIGHT!" </gesticulates></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I wish my dad had learned to always follow the hand, rather than the words. There is no disconnect between the brain and the hand. The hand does not get it wrong. I strongly believe that the chances of my parents getting divorced decreased by around 37% with the invention of the satnav.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">4. </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The ceremonial first spotting of</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"> that year's new number plate. At that time, the new vehicle registrations only came out once a year, in August. So we'd also be keeping an eye out for the first spot of some fancy pants going on holiday with their brand new car. Again, enormous kudos to the person who made the first spot.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">All of which is a hugely long winded way of saying, OMG, you guys, I spotted my first 16 plate on Sunday woohoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">* [sidebar - distressing <a href="http://theloadstar.co.uk/end-of-the-road-for-norbert-dentressangle-as-wearexpo-is-in-the-driving-seat/" target="_blank">news</a> on the Norbert front]</span>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-77669120681571633412016-03-08T14:06:00.001+00:002016-03-08T14:06:20.440+00:00Serendipity<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<a href="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Xi5QWJ83rBo/Vt69Lah7C9I/AAAAAAAAA5g/Oog52gMv-Qs/s1600/sere.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Xi5QWJ83rBo/Vt69Lah7C9I/AAAAAAAAA5g/Oog52gMv-Qs/s1600/sere.JPG" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Sometimes events just seem to unfold in a manner that works out beautifully for everyone. Isn't that lovely? I was lucky enough to benefit from a nice little moment of serendipity just a couple of weeks ago. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">One of my bigger goals for 2016 is to visit two new places. This is because I am a territourist, </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">a creature of habit that tends to go back to the same place, </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">marking my metaphorical territory </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">over and over again. As a result, after my May 2016 holiday, I will have been to Ibiza five times in the last two years. Territorial? I may as well cock my leg and piss up the wall at Pacha and be done with it. And there's a whole world out there. A whole great big beautiful world, most of which I haven't visited. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">So it was a very good thing when, as a result of a proposal that my boss and I had submitted, my company was shortlisted to pitch our services to a potential new client.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">In Los Angeles.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">It was also quite fortunate that, when I looked at flights, it was quite significantly cheaper to fly home on the Sunday evening, rather than straight after the Friday morning pitch.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">So I found myself in a situation where it was beneficial, both to me and the company that I work for, to spend the weekend by myself in LA. Hoorah!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I will be totally honest. LA was not on my shortlist of places to visit. I'm not a movie buff and LA has always struck me as a place that is so film-centric that there is probably very little else going on. Which could make it a little..... superficial?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Well, I was right, but I was also wrong. It all very much depends on where you go.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">I stayed in Venice, in a lovely little Airbnb place [side note, one of my other big goals for 2016 is to TRY NEW THINGS and staying in an Airbnb is a big tick in that box] that was located down a little walk street.</span></div>
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BB_RjdrBO_q/" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">The walkway down to my little slice of Venice heaven #LA #Venice #VeniceBeach #airbnb</a></div>
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A photo posted by @readyamefire on <time datetime="2016-02-20T00:53:11+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Feb 19, 2016 at 4:53pm PST</time></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">As you can see this is a lovely little path to walk down..... unless you're doing it for the first time in the dark, having got off the bus manhandling a gigantic suitcase, thinking "Is this safe? I have no idea if this area is safe" while pondering the fact that if I were watching someone go down this poorly lit alley on TV, I'd be shouting "Don't go down there! Oh for heaven's sake, she's just <b>asking</b> to be murdered, the idiot". As it turned out, it was all fine and I soon found myself installed in a cute little guesthouse that sat at the end of my host's garden. I was pretty tired by this point and so with a brief chomp on some Cheetos for dinner, I crashed to sleep on the very comfortable and snuggly bed.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Thankfully, I had a pretty good night's sleep and woke up feeling pretty bright, which was good as it was time to go and pitch! I put my professional face on and headed out. I had assumed that the public transport would be like London, with a bus every couple of minutes. Not the case. So I ended up walking about two miles to the office in Santa Monica, as my connecting bus just didn't come along. Thankfully I had allowed plenty of time and was still early for the pitch, which went very well. And then at about 11am, I was free as a bird in Los Angeles!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">After heading back to my Airbnb to get the heck out of my suit, I hit the streets of Venice, CA. My first port of call was Abbot Kinney Blvd, which is an super hipster street of cute little independent shops. I wasn't really in the mood for shopping, but I enjoyed strolling along in the warm sunshine. Very welcome after the cold February weather that we were having in the UK. I hit the end of the boulevard and found my way to Venice Beach, which was every bit as lively as I thought it would be, with stalls, buskers, and a great group of street dancers.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">By the end of the street dance show, I was pretty hungry, as I hadn't eaten anything yet that day. Thankfully the <a href="http://thesidewalkcafe.com/" target="_blank">Sidewalk Café</a> was able to provide me with an enormous lunch before I headed on up the boardwalk. After walking northwards up the beach for a while, Venice starts to fade away and becomes Santa Monica, which is like the classy older sister to Venice's raucous young boy. The beach here is lovely, just like walking onto the set of Baywatch.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">A photo posted by @readyamefire on <time datetime="2016-02-20T00:55:54+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Feb 19, 2016 at 4:55pm PST</time></span></div>
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After a wander around the shops of Santa Monica, I was tired and decided to catch the bus back to Venice, collapsing in bed almost as soon as I got back there early evening. Looking at the health app on my phone, it looks like I walked about 10 miles that day, so no wonder the jetlag caught up with me!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">The next day it was time to head to Hollywood. I got the bus again, which took longer than I thought again. That's the thing about LA, it's huge and sprawling and nothing is very close to anything else. I wandered up and down the Walk of Fame until I found Angela Lansbury, then stopped for some lunch.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BCBSK3GBO-o/" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">My work here is done.</a></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">A photo posted by @readyamefire on <time datetime="2016-02-20T19:37:03+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Feb 20, 2016 at 11:37am PST</time></span></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">After more public transport related fun, I arrived at the <a href="http://griffithobservatory.org/" target="_blank">Griffith Observatory</a>, a beautiful art deco style building pearched on top of a hill, where you get the best views of the Hollywood sign.</span><br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BCBh1AuhOyk/" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Ok, so it looks tiny here, but if you squint, you can see the Hollywood sign</a></div>
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A photo posted by @readyamefire on <time datetime="2016-02-20T21:53:52+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Feb 20, 2016 at 1:53pm PST</time></div>
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif; text-align: justify;">The observatory is sat at the edge of a park that has a load of trails just begging to be walked. I walked up quite a way, but there was much more I could've walked, if I'd had the energy. But this point, tiredness was setting in again (DAMN YOU JETLAG!!!) and I grabbed the bus back to my guesthouse for the evening.</span></div>
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BCEaCbTBO6c/" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">The Venice canals were a lovely thing to do on my last day in California. Such a peaceful place. Why don't I live there?</a></div>
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A photo posted by @readyamefire on <time datetime="2016-02-22T00:43:31+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Feb 21, 2016 at 4:43pm PST</time></div>
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</span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">On my last day, I spent the morning wandering up and down the Venice Canals, such a beautiful and peaceful place. Don't go there unless you want to spend quite a bit of time wondering how your life has managed to unfold in a way that has not led to you living there. After the canals, I had just enough time for a wander about (including an extended walk up Main Street to Santa Monica in search of stamps to send out postcards, which I then couldn't find a postbox for GAH!). It was then time to head back to my Airbnb, grab my suitcase and head back to the airport for the long flight home.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;">Looking back on this trip, I can definitely say that I enjoyed my time in LA, but don't really feel like there is a lot more there that I would like to see. I preferred Venice and Santa Monica to Hollywood, as there is a much more relaxed atmosphere in those places, although one point to note about everywhere I went is that there are huge numbers of homeless people, more than I've ever seen anywhere else, which is a really sad thing, with no simple solution. </span><span style="font-family: "trebuchet ms" , sans-serif;"><br />
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Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-5503870077867907272016-02-29T12:31:00.002+00:002016-02-29T12:31:55.459+00:00Whole30: Reintroduction (pt ii)<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">When I last checked in with you guys, I was halfway through the <a href="http://whole30.com/" target="_blank">Whole30</a> reintroduction protocol, with frankly mixed results. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I still had a couple of food groups to reintroduce and next on the list was dairy. I was very worried about this. The longest and most meaningful relationship in my life has been with cheese, so the thought that it might send me scurrying to the lav clutching my nether regions was a real concern. Thankfully I needn't have worried. Dairy was all fine. Please note that there is no cheese in the picture below. Some things are private, like the joyful reunion that cheese and I enjoyed together*</span><br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BBcXErOhO44/" style="color: black; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">Welcome to @whole30 dairy reintroduction day! #teawithmilk #yoghurt #ALLOFTHECHEESE #whole30 #whole30uk #iamwhole30</a></div>
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A photo posted by @readyamefire on <time datetime="2016-02-06T11:27:59+00:00" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 17px;">Feb 6, 2016 at 3:27am PST</time></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">* OK, fine. I ate all the cheese before I could take a picture, OK? Happy now? Jeeeeeeez.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The last thing to reintroduce was gluten grains. Cue a giant scone for breakfast, followed by my mince concoction served with pasta for lunch. All of which (delicious though it was) was a mere prelude to the coming excitement.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">PANCAKES! Woo hoo! PANCAKES! Oh the joy of wheat reintroduction day falling on the only day of the year that the UK gives half a crap about pancakes. Also to note the joy of having loving parents who are willing to cook the pancakes for you. Woo hoo!</span><br />
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A photo posted by @readyamefire on <time datetime="2016-02-09T21:45:32+00:00" style="font-family: arial, sans-serif; line-height: 17px;">Feb 9, 2016 at 1:45pm PST</time></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And as it's the end of February, it's time to check in and see how I did on those monthly goals, which to remind you, were as follows:</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>PRIDE</b>: Complete the full Whole30 reintroduction, properly, without titting about.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>STRETCH</b>: Complete at least three NTC workouts per week and swim at least twice a week</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>WILDEST DREAMS</b>: Get down to 14 stone</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Hmmmm. Not quite so good as January. I completed the Whole30 reintroduction without issue, but the other two were a complete blowout. So I'm giving myself a pass grade of C and looking forward to some new goals for March.</span><br />
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<b style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 18.48px;">PRIDE</b><span style="background-color: white; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; line-height: 18.48px;">: Complete the Speedo app English Channel swim goal </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>STRETCH</b>: Complete at least two NTC workouts per week </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>WILDEST DREAMS</b>: Complete at least 7,000 steps every day in March, even on working from home days where I sit on my butt all day not going anywhere.</span><br />
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<span style="color: purple; font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><b>COMING UP:</b> Reporting back on a couple of my bigger goals for the year, including a review of my trip to Los Angeles.</span></div>
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Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-86543101586808276522016-02-04T18:19:00.000+00:002016-02-04T18:19:03.453+00:00Whole30: ReintroductionIn my last post, I mentioned that my first goal for February 2016 is to complete the Whole30 reintroduction properly, something that I've never done before. So how does that work? And why is it important?<br />
<br />
Well, for the duration of the Whole30, you're essentially clearing down your digestive system, eliminating all food groups that are widely acknowledged to cause issues for a number of people. These are sugar, dairy, grains (gluten and non-gluten) and legumes. So when the 30 days are up, your system is well clear of these foods and their effects, and you're essentially a real, live, walking, talking test environment. You are your own control group. Pretty cool, huh?<br />
<br />
So on day 31, you reintroduce one food group in isolation. Just one. And you need to go to town on it a bit, really dose yourself so you can make sure that you've eaten enough of it to measure any effects. Then you go back to eating Whole30 for the next two days, so that you can be reasonably sure that any effects you experience are as a result of eating that food group. And those effects could be on your body, your digestive system, your energy levels, your mood, anything at all. You then repeat this for each of the food groups, with the exception of sugar, because really, it's probably best not to reintroduce that at all if you can bear not to, except things like a little added sugar in shop bought ketchup, bacon or smoked salmon that has sugar used in the curing process, that sort of thing.<br />
<br />
Now the Whole30 website recommends that you introduce the food groups in order from the least likely to affect you (legumes) to the most likely to affect you (gluten grains). I decided that I would use one of my Whole30 staples, a beef mince chilli, as the carrier for my reintroduction, so on Sunday I ate some with a metric fucktonne of peas and beans. Oh and some peanuts, but not with the chilli, just by themselves as a snack.<br />
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<blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-version="6" style="background: #fff; border-radius: 3px; border: 0; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0 , 0 , 0 , 0.5) , 0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0 , 0 , 0 , 0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 658px; padding: 0; width: 99.375%;">
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BBNx4aQBO3Y/" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">It's legume reintroduction day! The food on the left is a @whole30 staple for me and I'm going to use it as the basis for reintroduction. It's beef mince with onion, peppers, chilli, grated carrot and tomatoes. Today I'm having it with edamame, runner beans and peas. On Wednesday, I'll have it with rice, on Saturday with grated cheese and on Tuesday with pasta #healthhabitsrelationshipwithfood #januarywhole30 #whole30 #whole30uk</a></div>
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A photo posted by @readyamefire on <time datetime="2016-01-31T19:33:38+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Jan 31, 2016 at 11:33am PST</time></div>
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Doesn't that look delicious? Peas and runner beans and edamame. Nom. Given that legumes are listed as the food group that affects the smallest number of people, I was not prepared for what happened the next day. <br />
<br />
Which was when my digestive system emphatically and indeed explosively demonstrated that it does not like being filled up by that amount of legumes. BAD TIMES. Aside from the suddenness with which I went from feeling slightly queasy (not that unusual for me first thing in morning) to legging it to the loo, I was really surprised by this, as I don't recall ever having had this issue before. But I did eat more beans than any normal human being would eat in one sitting, so I think that once I'm done with the rest of the reintroduction, I'll do a bit more experimentation with (less) beans to see if it was just the quantity that I ate. Please note that this experiment will be done on a day when I know I'll be spending all of the following day within ten metres of my toilet.<br />
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The good news was that in one giant incident all of those legumes were *ahem* out of my system, so I soon felt normal and ready to proceed to the next reintroduction on day 34, which was non-gluten grains. I was very excited by this as I really missed rice during my Whole30.<br />
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BBUzob7BO3_/" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">@whole30 reintroduction day four: non-gluten grains. Really hoping my digestive system is ok with this, I really missed rice! #whole30 #januarywhole30 #iamwhole30 #whole30uk</a></div>
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A photo posted by @readyamefire on <time datetime="2016-02-03T13:03:37+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Feb 3, 2016 at 5:03am PST</time></div>
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Oh look at that lovely fluffy rice. Delicious fluffy white rice. Lovely lovely rice that my stomach had no issue with at all. I also ate some lovely sweetcorn and my stomach doesn't mind a bit. Hooray!<br />
<br />
So I'm halfway through the reintroduction process and at the moment the score is non-gluten grains 1 - 0 legumes. Dairy will be reintroduced on Saturday (OMG CHEESE) and then gluten grains on Tuesday (OMG gluten grain reintroduction day is on Shrove Tuesday PANCAKES PANCAKES PANCAKES!!!!).Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-87214106351964188412016-02-01T11:18:00.000+00:002016-02-04T17:40:37.921+00:00January 2016It’s February already, if you can believe it. Actually, having just typed that, I’m now
pondering the point, as January seems to have simultaneously zipped by and
lasted FOREVER. It’s been a month of
sadness, as we lost icon after icon. Bowie, Rickman and yesterday, in the dying
embers of the month, Wogan. But January
is also a month of newness, rebirth, optimism and goal setting. And on that front, I’m really happy with how
the month went.<br />
<br />
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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This year, as well as setting big annual goals, I’ve set
smaller monthly goals to achieve. I’ve
never been very good at sticking to things for a long time, so I think the
smaller goals are a better idea for me.
Further, I have set myself three achievement levels for each month. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>PRIDE</b>: This is
the minimum that I want to achieve to finish the month with my head held
high<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>STRETCH</b>: Taking
it to the next level, pushing it just a little further</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>WILDEST DREAMS</b>:
Superstretch! Go on, dream big</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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So what did this look like for January, and how did I
do? Let’s find out……<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b>PRIDE</b>: Complete a
January Whole30.</span> A big tick against this
one, although midway through the month, this result felt entirely
uncertain. I had got to around day 14
and I was ready to give up. However, I
was not ready to give up before I’d been to the first ever UK Whole30 seminar
that <a href="https://www.instagram.com/melissa_hartwig/?hl=en" target="_blank">Melissa Hartwig</a> was hosting on the 16<sup>th</sup>. Imagine turning up there with the knowledge
that you’d fallen off the wagon the day before. Mortifying. And it was a good choice to hang in there, as
I left the room full of motivation, with a picture of myself with Melissa and
her signature in my copy of<a href="http://www.amazon.co.uk/Starts-Food-Revised-Discover-Unexpected/dp/1628600543/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1454324046&sr=1-1&keywords=it+starts+with+food" target="_blank"> It Starts with Food</a>. Gigantic win. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<blockquote class="instagram-media" data-instgrm-captioned="" data-instgrm-version="6" style="background: #fff; border-radius: 3px; border: 0; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0 , 0 , 0 , 0.5) , 0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0 , 0 , 0 , 0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 658px; padding: 0; width: 99.375%;">
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<a href="https://www.instagram.com/p/BAmQeyUBO0u/" style="color: black; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none; word-wrap: break-word;" target="_blank">@melissa_hartwig describing chocolate cake in excruciating detail at the @whole30 #whole30uk seminar #invisiblechocolatecake #whereisit? #rightthereonthelecturn</a></div>
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A photo posted by @readyamefire on <time datetime="2016-01-16T11:11:24+00:00" style="font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px;">Jan 16, 2016 at 3:11am PST</time></div>
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This was not my first Whole30. I’ve done a few before and certainly haven’t
finished all of them…<o:p></o:p></div>
<ol>
<li>September 2014. Finished 30 days, but epic fail at the reintroduction phase. I chose to reintroduce dairy first and fell face first into a cheese induced coma. With icecream. And more cheese.</li>
<li>January 2015. Quit partway through. A friend of mine died at the beginning of January last year and his wake was held at the restaurant where he had been head chef. The food served was from his menu, and honouring him felt significantly more important than sticking to the Whole30 plan. It was a definite, mindful choice and I have no regrets about it.</li>
<li>April 2015. Epic fail. Woeful. I went and gave blood and afterwards dove into the crisps and chocolate bars in a face stuffing frenzy of monumental proportions. Oops.</li>
<li>September 2015. Success! (ish). Finished the 30 days, just didn’t bother with the reintroduction. I think I was so ready to be done with it and desperate for some of the foods I’d been craving that I just stopped.</li>
</ol>
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So this was my fifth attempt at a Whole30 and I think it’s the
one that has affected me most (so far!).
A lot of that is to do with listening to Melissa speak, so I’m really
grateful to have had the opportunity to do that.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b>STRETCH</b>: Get
under 15 stone.</span> 15 stone! FIFTEEN
STONE?!?!?! Deary me, where did things go so wrong? Last year was a really difficult one. I found myself in a really difficult and
emotional situation with a member of my team at work, which really affected me. Aside from that, we relocated to the London office, meaning a significant lifestyle change, all with the ever present, looming threat of redundancy. Fun times. When I’m in a bad place, food is my go to
place for comfort. There is not a single
emotion that isn’t made better by smothering it in a soothing layer of
cheese. Then a layer of crisps. Then
some chocolate. And then some more crisps.
And why not make it fizzylicious by pouring some Pepsi Max with cherry
over it? Go on, you’re worth it. So I ended the year about 2.5 stone heavier
than I started it and frankly, I wasn't in tiptop shape to begin with. WOE. So although Whole30 is much more than a quick
fix weight loss plan, there’s no denying that it’s a great kickstart to healthy
eating and therefore weight loss is a cheery side effect. Again, I can put a big tick next to this
goal, as I lost a total of 11lb in the last 30 days. WHOOP.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span style="color: blue;"><b>WILDEST DREAMS</b>: Fit back into walking trousers. </span>Due
to being such a gigantic fatso last year, I spent the second half of the year
walking Murdoch wearing tracksuit bottoms in all weathers, finding myself
completely unable to fit into my walking trousers. EXTREME WOE. The good news is that I tried on
the walking trousers yesterday and although they are still quite snug, I can
put them on and do them up. WINNING.<o:p></o:p></div>
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So all in all, I’m counting January as quite a success. And I’ve already got my goals together for
February too.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>PRIDE</b>: Complete
the full Whole30 reintroduction, properly, without titting about.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<b>STRETCH</b>: Complete
at least three NTC workouts per week and swim at least twice a week</div>
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<b>WILDEST DREAMS</b>: Get
down to 14 stone</div>
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<o:p></o:p></div>
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Watch this space............Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-47903339179475928702015-12-29T16:03:00.000+00:002015-12-29T20:02:26.635+00:00Six things I learned over the festive periodWell that's Christmas over and done with - hoorah! I had a very lovely time with my family and I learned a few things along the way, which (in the spirit of festive giving) I'm going to share with you all.<br>
<br>
1. Do not get involved in playing games. Your brother in law might tell you that the Post-it note game * only takes 15 minutes. This is an outright lie. It takes at least an hour, by which point you will silently hate everyone in the room, including yourself.<br>
<br>
2. Despite the fact that your mother spent many hours pushing you out of her vagina and even more hours wiping your bottom, she will not hesitate to fuck you up by writing the name "Big Ears" on a Post-it note and sticking it to your forehead, thereby dooming you to an hour of evermore hopeless questions and guesses, at the end of which, your sister will essentially be forced to just tell you that you're Big Ears.<br>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cvO--Rfj5S4/VoKtTiY5-bI/AAAAAAAAA3o/pYYRPLWkm-E/s1600/Big_Ears.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cvO--Rfj5S4/VoKtTiY5-bI/AAAAAAAAA3o/pYYRPLWkm-E/s320/Big_Ears.jpg" width="185"></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I hate you, Big Ears</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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3. If you ask the question "Am I a humanoid?", you will mean "Am I human-shaped?". However your sister will think you mean "Am I a robot?", she will answer no, and you will NEVER EVER guess that you are Big Ears, who is pretty much human shaped, when compared to, say, a car or maybe a tree.<br>
<br>
4. You will get to the end of the game and discover that your parents have no idea who the people stuck to their foreheads are, despite the fact that you may have been discussing them just prior to commencing the game (Aled Jones - Dad). Alternatively, they may have entirely forgotten what this person was famous for, rendering half the questions and answers completely useless ("Rusty Lee did cooking? I only remember her laugh!" - Mum)<br>
<br>
* if you don't know what the Post-it note game is, you can find more information <a href="http://www.activityvillage.co.uk/the-name-game" target="_blank">here</a><br>
<br>
5. If you buy your family a cuddly reindeer that sings "We wish you a Merry Christmas" through the medium of fart noises, prepare to hear it A LOT throughout the festive period, especially if your four year old niece finds it hilarious. I can only imagine that by now it must have "run out of batteries" possibly forever.<br>
<br>
6. Other things small children find hilarious (apparently), include being hit repeatedly in the head by a dog's tail. As a result we kept finding my two year old nephew bent over with his head by Murdoch's bum (a dangerous game in anyone's reckoning) getting whacked in the head by Murdoch's wagging tail and giggling.<br>
<br>
<br>
As you can imagine, after all of the mayhem, it was really nice to get home and sit silently stroking Murdoch's ears for a bit, while staring blankly into space and wondering whether you will ever be capable of living with another human being ever again. Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-30796467131355021272015-11-08T18:50:00.000+00:002015-11-08T18:50:00.671+00:00Fridge Soup<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Sometimes life doesn't entirely go to plan. Take this weekend, for instance. I should've been in Nice running a marathon. I'm currently at home in a onesie making soup. So you see my point? I'd like to get upset about this and throw some outrage at the situation. But I'm a firm believer in owning up when you've managed a situation poorly. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I currently have an injured leg. My knee is painful, which has been caused by my IT band tightening, which was caused by physio intended to fix my overloaded hamstrings. My hamstrings are overloaded because my glutes are horrendously lazy and do not fire at all. They just don't activate. So here's my confession. I found out about the issues with my glutes over a year ago when I had a biomechanical assessment as part of my membership induction at <a href="http://www.ordacademy.com/" target="_blank">Charlotte Ord Academy</a>. And I have done nothing about it. So I can't get angry about not being able to run this marathon. I'd love to be able to pass the blame for my poor performance onto someone, something else. But I can't. It's all my own doing. I have got better at doing my rehab exercises over these past few weeks, but it was far too late to be any help.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I had secretly held out some hope that I'd get to Nice and feel just <b>fine</b> on the day and glide along 42km of the Riviera coastline like some kind of bad ass, but walking around a golf course for nearly six hours in the pissing rain on Friday put paid to any of those notions. My legs were fine at the start of the day, but as time went on and I creaked around 18 holes as an auctioned caddy for my friend's <a href="http://jamesgolfday.co.uk/" target="_blank">memorial golf day</a>, it became clear that my legs would not be up to the task of a marathon. I headed home afterwards to pack my bags and get an early night before my 06:25 flight to Nice. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">It was as I dithered around the flat in a desultory fashion that I realised that I didn't want to go. I had been determined to go to Nice anyway, as my flights and hotel were non refundable. And it's a nice place, Nice. But I didn't want to go there. On my own. In November. To not run a marathon. So I decided to stay home for the weekend. And immediately felt less anxious. I felt even more cheerful as I headed to Guildford to collect Murdoch from the <a href="https://www.facebook.com/thedoghouseguildford/?fref=ts" target="_blank">Dog House</a> and started to look forward to a weekend spent snuggling with the mutt. Perfection.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Which brings me to this week's exciting batch cook up</span></div>
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<b><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Fridge Soup</span></b></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This is a simple recipe, with no need for a sous chef, which is handy, as mine is nowhere to be seen.</span></div>
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wGPP_LpSOw8/Vj-LqcDc_DI/AAAAAAAAA04/qlu2lu1nKEI/s1600/IMG_5341%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wGPP_LpSOw8/Vj-LqcDc_DI/AAAAAAAAA04/qlu2lu1nKEI/s320/IMG_5341%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Where's Murdoch?</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This soup is basically another really simple way of using up whatever veg you might have lurking in the fridge. I had plenty, as I have started getting veg boxes from <a href="http://www.abelandcole.co.uk/" target="_blank">Abel & Cole</a> again. I am a big fan of the veg box, especially as Abel & Cole have changed things up to give you more control over what you get in each box. However, with that said, there are times when the amount of veg in the fridge reaches panic levels. Especially when you've spent all week shoving the veg aside to get to the pizza and eat that instead. Come on, we've all been there. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Firstly, I chopped up a couple of leeks, a couple of onions and some garlic.</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aJX5PsZJGs0/Vj-Lt9VHs9I/AAAAAAAAA08/Cida1wnufy0/s1600/IMG_5340%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aJX5PsZJGs0/Vj-Lt9VHs9I/AAAAAAAAA08/Cida1wnufy0/s320/IMG_5340%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Vampires can't get within 200 yards of me right now.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then I warmed up some butter in my most enormous saucepan and chucked them in on a low heat to gently soften.</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HLlo2MK2ns0/Vj-Lvzk0VuI/AAAAAAAAA1E/blvKQFoRZNI/s1600/IMG_5342%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-HLlo2MK2ns0/Vj-Lvzk0VuI/AAAAAAAAA1E/blvKQFoRZNI/s320/IMG_5342%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I've sprung a leek!</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">While that was going on, I chopped up some more veg: parnsips, carrots (including some lovely purple carrots, so nice to get the different kinds to mix it up a bit) and threw that in the saucepan.</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZIOnACUO0nc/Vj-Lyb0ZyqI/AAAAAAAAA1I/xZxphNf00V0/s1600/IMG_5343%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZIOnACUO0nc/Vj-Lyb0ZyqI/AAAAAAAAA1I/xZxphNf00V0/s320/IMG_5343%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">A lovely, colourful mixture of root veg</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> I chopped up some cabbage and threw that in too.</span><br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mVqsC6payCc/Vj-Lz3XaM_I/AAAAAAAAA1Q/ddVoa5hzYJc/s1600/IMG_5344%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mVqsC6payCc/Vj-Lz3XaM_I/AAAAAAAAA1Q/ddVoa5hzYJc/s320/IMG_5344%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Cabbage</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Then I threw some potatoes in, what's the point of soup without potatoes? Hell, what's the point if <b>life</b> without potatoes?</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-A1L8KJ7_VL8/Vj-L1-XG-aI/AAAAAAAAA1Y/JmQJc0lhNp4/s1600/IMG_5345%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-A1L8KJ7_VL8/Vj-L1-XG-aI/AAAAAAAAA1Y/JmQJc0lhNp4/s320/IMG_5345%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">If I could only eat one food for the rest of my life, it would probably be the humble potato.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I grabbed a couple of handfuls of lentils to add some bulk, rinsed them thoroughly and put them in the saucepan too. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uWEh1fEoOV8/Vj-L4Ka9RdI/AAAAAAAAA1c/K-lV2ejNfhQ/s1600/IMG_5346%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uWEh1fEoOV8/Vj-L4Ka9RdI/AAAAAAAAA1c/K-lV2ejNfhQ/s320/IMG_5346%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Adding a bit of bulk</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I seasoned with plenty of sea salt and black pepper, chucked in a couple of vegetable stock cubes and lots of boiling water and left it all to bubble away on a low - medium heat for an hour or so.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sKyB7s9oXng/Vj-Vk00093I/AAAAAAAAA18/Q6IubxsBXPo/s1600/IMG_5347%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sKyB7s9oXng/Vj-Vk00093I/AAAAAAAAA18/Q6IubxsBXPo/s320/IMG_5347%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Bubbling soup</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Because I hate having chunks in my food, I got my hand blender out and blended the soup until smooth.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WNPSU6rZsBg/Vj-Vmzgs8FI/AAAAAAAAA2E/QOHxE3cH2NQ/s1600/IMG_5348%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-WNPSU6rZsBg/Vj-Vmzgs8FI/AAAAAAAAA2E/QOHxE3cH2NQ/s320/IMG_5348%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Smooooooooooooth soup</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As I was feeling decadent, I served with a swirl of single cream and a buttered slice of granary bread. </span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hbUPVM7NrPI/Vj-VoyM-f-I/AAAAAAAAA2M/WHyyYWpA5O8/s1600/IMG_5349%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-hbUPVM7NrPI/Vj-VoyM-f-I/AAAAAAAAA2M/WHyyYWpA5O8/s320/IMG_5349%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></span></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hearty</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As I write this, the soup is still hotter than the surface of the sun. So I haven't put it into portion containers yet. But I think it'll be around 6 - 8 portions, which will see me through most of the week.</span></div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-48009887935258675652015-10-27T21:50:00.000+00:002015-10-27T21:50:34.855+00:00Hearty Mince<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'm not a chef. I'm not even much of a foodie. I could quite happily eat the same five meals between now and when I die and not really feel too worried about the situation. Which means that cooking gigantic vats of food to eat across the week really suits my temperament, as well as my schedule.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">And there's something about this time of year, just after the clocks go back, that makes me feel all autumnal and jolly and quite in the mood to batch cook the crap out of something. So tonight I cooked..... well I'm never entirely sure what to call it. Is it a bolognese if you're not serving it on pasta? Is it a chilli if it has no kidney beans? I have no idea. So instead, I'm going to call it </span><br />
<br />
<h3>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Hearty Mince</span></h3>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The first thing to note about making hearty mince is the invaluable nature of the sous chef. Mine is quite keen on veg preparation, but soon loses interest thereafter.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3lO7BjjNT0M/Vi_qbqSwG-I/AAAAAAAAAzg/lXvlNPQCSVk/s1600/IMG_5290%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-3lO7BjjNT0M/Vi_qbqSwG-I/AAAAAAAAAzg/lXvlNPQCSVk/s320/IMG_5290%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Murdoch loves raw carrot</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">There is no set recipe for this meal, not really. I look at what veg I've got in the fridge, pop to the supermarket to add what else I fancy and chop it up quite finely, as I don't like having big chunks of stuff in my food. This time round I had onion, garlic, leeks, chillis (with seeds left in for a bit of ooomph), carrot, courgette (not chopped in this picture as I ran out of room on the chopping board), fresh peas and edamame.</span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ySIlEv_h-Sk/Vi_qhBnjzFI/AAAAAAAAAzo/uW7jvDR_ymg/s1600/IMG_5291%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ySIlEv_h-Sk/Vi_qhBnjzFI/AAAAAAAAAzo/uW7jvDR_ymg/s320/IMG_5291%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Chop veg finely. Or don't. It's your dinner, have it how you like.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Once you've got your veg ready to go, heat up a bit of butter (or olive oil) and chuck the veg in a big pan to soften on a low heat. I left the peas and edamame out at this stage, to be added later.</span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-U_thMTeMh5A/Vi_qj8eKyKI/AAAAAAAAAzw/IjVpBXSJKT8/s1600/IMG_5294%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-U_thMTeMh5A/Vi_qj8eKyKI/AAAAAAAAAzw/IjVpBXSJKT8/s320/IMG_5294%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Probably at least fifteen of your "five a day"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Next, turn up the heat a bit and add some mince. I bought two large (750g) packets of extra low fat beef mince from Tesco and forgot to take a picture of it cooking, mostly because my pan isn't really big enough to accommodate that much meat, so there was quite a bit of unseemly swearing at this stage. Please imagine a picture of a metric fucktonne of beef mince browning off with the veg. Thanks. After it was all browned off, I drained it a bit, as there was quite a bit of liquid at this stage.</span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1-Y_FY54Thc/Vi_qmo1sIwI/AAAAAAAAAz4/mx4svvEeEGM/s1600/IMG_5295%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1-Y_FY54Thc/Vi_qmo1sIwI/AAAAAAAAAz4/mx4svvEeEGM/s320/IMG_5295%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Starting to look quite tasty</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Add some herbs, stock cube, salt and pepper (and if you fancy it, a spoonful of Marmite. But not coffee, as </span><a href="http://www.sainsburys.co.uk/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/gb/groceries/get-ideas/features/twist-your-favourites---spaghetti-bolognese?langId=44&storeId=10151&krypto=uuWEeSdJGGSOQG4ZoxkaUNDKjDyUayByqj3YIBngl%2FCjTmNKWfuXkiEP5Pd0h%2BFtBS3vZL%2F6VNdk%0AVT1E810RLMwtdnFlmoY1hjNEluA9NmaVM0Eqzj6PN4yjPvV7rGVX&ddkey=http:gb/groceries/get-ideas/features/twist-your-favourites---spaghetti-bolognese" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;" target="_blank">Sainsbury's</a><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> seem to be suggesting. WTF Sainsbury's?! Give it a rest), some tomato purée and a couple of cartons of chopped tomatoes. Lower the heat again and let it bubble away for a bit.</span><br />
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<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4A728g-QrtY/Vi_qp4HolWI/AAAAAAAAA0A/hCBNPEE-Rnk/s1600/IMG_5296%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-4A728g-QrtY/Vi_qp4HolWI/AAAAAAAAA0A/hCBNPEE-Rnk/s320/IMG_5296%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Add the peas and edamame</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Near the end of the cooking, I added the peas and the edamame. They only need a light steam, so best add them towards the end, otherwise you risk ending up with green mush. I popped the lid on so that all of the steam stayed in and left it alone for about 10 minutes.</span><br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Qo2vDuyHQL4/Vi_qq-1ppiI/AAAAAAAAA0I/i7Z45pfmpug/s1600/IMG_5297%255B1%255D.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Qo2vDuyHQL4/Vi_qq-1ppiI/AAAAAAAAA0I/i7Z45pfmpug/s320/IMG_5297%255B1%255D.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Everything tastes better with cheese on it. FACT.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br /><div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This made eight nice sized dinners, which you could serve with pasta, rice, quinoa, couscous, veg or even eat just by itself. As you can see, I've popped some grated cheese on top to serve.</span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">My final top tip is to decant into individual dinner sized containers, especially if you're a greedy bugger like me. Then you have ready to go portions, rather than spooning gigantic helpings out of one big tub and wondering why it only lasted a day (come on, we've all been there).</span></div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-45718627290477365992015-01-04T21:47:00.000+00:002015-01-04T22:15:03.520+00:00The Importance of friendshipWhen I was in my early twenties, as well as working during the day in an office, I also worked as a barmaid in a pub. I needed to do it to make ends meet, but it was also great fun and formed the greater part of my social life at the time. One particular friend that I made was L, we immediately hit it off and our friendship grew as time went on, until she was my best friend and general accomplice. <br />
<br />
Then one day a new guy started working behind the bar. J was a few years younger than us. I liked J from the start. He had recently broken up with a long term girlfriend and held the general opinion that all women were dreadful, making him enormous fun to tease, which he took in remarkably good humour.<br />
<br />
But L saw more and as their relationship progressed, she proved him wrong time and again, until he had no choice but to realise that some women weren't bad at all, that she in particular was great and that maybe he should keep hold of her. Which was a very wise choice indeed, as it turned out and they got married. I was so proud to be L's bridesmaid and to be a part of their big day, it was such a very happy time.<br />
<br />
Life moves on, as it is wont to do, and over the following years, L and I grew apart. She was married and having babies, and I (quite rightly) was not a part of that. I was getting on with my own life. But I never worried about her. Because she had J to look after her. I knew that although life would have its ups and downs, she had everything that she wanted with J.<br />
<br />
But I was wrong. You should never stop worrying about your friends. You should never let time go by without checking in. Because before you know it a month has gone past. And then another one. And then before you know it, it's a year, then another one. How does that happen? Where does the time go?<br />
<br />
If anyone reading this has fallen out of contact with people that they care about, then I urge you to get in contact with them. Right now. Pick up the phone, send them a Facebook message, however you do it, just do it. If you know good people, then let them know that you care. Don't leave it until it's too late.<br />
<br />
J died in a road accident on New Year's Day. He leaves behind him a loving wife, two daughters and a huge number of people who will miss him enormously. I hope he knows that I am one of them. The world is a sadder place without him in it.Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-66174029016167240542015-01-01T18:43:00.000+00:002015-01-01T18:43:00.525+00:00Welcome to 2015This year I feel like I need to shake things up a bit. I've been living very deeply in my comfort zone and while that's not necessarily a bad thing (it's so warm and cosy in here!) it's time to find out what else is going on out there.<br />
<br />
So to get the year started off on the right foot, I'm doing another <a href="http://www.whole30.com/" target="_blank">Whole30</a> and I'm also taking part in <a href="http://www.janathon.com/" target="_blank">Janathon</a> again this year.<br />
<br />
I've also set myself a couple of goals:<br />
<br />
1. To spend the first half of the year focusing on more high intensity exercise, rather than endurance stuff. I'm going to try and get quicker over shorter distances, so no marathons for me until at least the second half of the year, possibly not until 2016.<br />
2. To try at least one new thing a month every month this year and to blog about it.<br />
<br />
So on the Janathon front, I decided that a good way to see in the new year would be to get up and get running in time to see the sunrise. I was able to pressgang a couple of my lovely running friends into coming with me (even though they'd only got to bed an hour earlier thanks to some enthusiastic *ahem* <i>carb loading</i> the night before) and off we trotted, through the woods to the top of Hydon's Ball, where we indulged in a spot of trig point planking. We were soon joined by some of our walking friends just in time to see.... nothing. Worst sunrise ever, very grey heavy clouds. There's probably a life lesson in there somewhere. But we had a lovely time and all agreed that despite the lack of sleep and probably still high levels of drunkenness from some members of the party that it had been quite a good idea after all.<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Aead_Naapgg/VKWUN_e-GzI/AAAAAAAAAts/izJEUIWaPl8/s1600/janathon%2B1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Aead_Naapgg/VKWUN_e-GzI/AAAAAAAAAts/izJEUIWaPl8/s1600/janathon%2B1.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">My lovely running friends. Except the monkey, I don't know that guy</td></tr>
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<br />Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-66557210819426181382014-10-16T12:45:00.000+01:002014-10-16T12:52:42.307+01:00It's not about weight loss<div style="text-align: justify;">
Today is day 31 and I have successfully completed my <a href="http://whole30.com/" target="_blank">Whole30</a>. Hoorah!</div>
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I shan't go into detail about the programme, if you don't know what it is, please refer to my halfway point blog <a href="http://murdoch-shewrote.blogspot.co.uk/2014/09/whole30-first-half.html" target="_blank">here</a>.</div>
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The main thing that I've noticed is that no matter how many times you try to explain why you're doing it - it's about resetting your metabolism, cleaning down your system so that when you reintroduce food groups afterwards, you have a clear idea of their effect. It's about examining your relationship with food to better understand why you eat the things you do (addiction, habit) - most people just want to know.....</div>
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<b>How much weight have you lost? </b></div>
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So you try to explain that it's not about weight loss. It's about resetting your metabolism, cleaning down your system so that when you reintroduce food groups afterwards, you have a clear idea of their effect. It's about examining your relationship with food to better understand why you eat the things you do. Blah blah blah. And they smile and nod and then tell you that you look great, like you've lost a lot of weight. Which is great, it really is. But it is not the point.</div>
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So this morning, when I had this conversation with my colleague:</div>
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Colleague: "So are you going to go wild in the aisles for dinner tomorrow night?"</div>
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Me: "Errrm no. That would have made the last 30 days a bit pointles, wouldn't it."</div>
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C: "Would it? Why's that?"</div>
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M: "Because the whole idea is to clean your system and then slowly reintroduce foods one by one to see the effect they have on you"</div>
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C: "Oh. I thought it was going to be a 'school's out' kind of situation"</div>
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M: "No"</div>
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C: "Oh."</div>
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Me: *quietly goes to ladies loo to BANG MY HEAD AGAINST THE WALL*</div>
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I wanted to scream.</div>
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As a society, we're so obsessed with that number on the scale. On how we look. On what dress size we can squeeze ourselves into. And really none of that matters a crap.</div>
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Which is why I love the friends who have asked me <b>"How do you feel?"</b>. Because that's the point. </div>
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And how do I feel? I feel great. I didn't really notice that I didn't feel great before, because when you feel that low-level-just-meh all the time, you get used to it. It's being in the monkey house and not realising that it smells like poo. But you learn it on days 2-4, when you have a killer headache as you experience the caffeine and sugar come down. You realise how powerful those substances are when they leave your body and they are not going to go quietly. They are going to rage, rage against the dying of the light.</div>
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You notice it when you have a moment of panic on day 28 about what you might find yourself eating on days 31+ when you "can eat whatever you want" and then have a moment of epiphany when you realise that you could have eaten anything you wanted for the entirety of the Whole30, you've not been locked in a prison cell. You have simply chosen not to. Doesn't that feel great? To take back control and realise that you can have a packet of crisps, if you want. It doesn't mean you have to feel bad about it, or subsequently eat an entire multipack. You can have a bit of chocolate, if you want to. I bought a slab of <a href="http://www.hotelchocolat.com/uk/shop/collections/chocolate/supermilk/supermilk-popcorn-chocolate" target="_blank">this</a> to celebrate the end of my Whole30, chopped it into small sections, had one piece and shared the rest with my colleagues. One piece was enough. What a revelation.</div>
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Would I recommend doing Whole30? Well generally I hate to evangelise about things. I get so annoyed when people who say things like "Have you seen Blah blah film? No?! <b>You have to!</b>". Actually, no I don't have to and I probably won't, so please shut up. So I won't tell you to do it. I'll just tell you that in doing this, I have taken the first steps to changing my life for the better. The past 30 days have taught me a huge amount, about the food that I eat, about the person that I am.</div>
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And if you're the one sat there thinking "It just sounds so hard!", I'll leave you with this from the Whole30 website:</div>
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<span style="color: purple;"><b>It is not hard.</b> Don’t you dare tell us this is hard. Beating cancer is hard. Birthing a baby is hard. Losing a parent is hard. Drinking your coffee black. Is. Not. Hard. You’ve done harder things than this, and you have no excuse not to complete the program as written. It’s only thirty days, and it’s for the most important health cause on earth – the only physical body you will ever have in this lifetime.</span></div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-60807283027522356362014-09-30T14:30:00.000+01:002014-09-30T14:30:03.795+01:00Whole30 - the first half<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Those of you who know me in real life may find this post unutterably boring, as I've spoken of almost nothing else for the past fifteen days. So please do feel free to stop reading now. No really, please do. Are they gone? Good. Poor devils have already had to put up with me going on and on about this.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Now, for everyone else - SURPRISE! I'm doing <a href="http://whole30.com/step-one/#sthash.JvSgZd0y.dpuf" target="_blank">Whole30</a>. In case you don't currently have time to click on that link, here is an overview giving you the general idea (if you're really busy, skip through all of the blue text and carry on reading, but if you do have time, do read the information, it explains a lot!).</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Think of it as a short-term nutritional reset, designed to help you put an end to unhealthy cravings and habits, restore a healthy metabolism, heal your digestive tract, and balance your immune system.</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Certain food groups (like sugar, grains, dairy and legumes) could be having a negative impact on your health and fitness without you even realizing it. Are your energy levels inconsistent or non-existent? Do you have aches and pains that can’t be explained by over-use or injury? Are you having a hard time losing weight no matter how hard you try? Do you have some sort of condition (like skin issues, digestive ailments, seasonal allergies or fertility issues) that medication hasn’t helped? These symptoms may be directly related to the foods you eat—even the “healthy” stuff.</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>So how do you know if (and how) these foods are affecting you? Strip them from your diet completely. Cut out all the psychologically unhealthy, hormone-unbalancing, gut-disrupting, inflammatory food groups for a full 30 days. Let your body heal and recover from whatever effects those foods may be causing. Push the “reset” button with your metabolism, systemic inflammation, and the downstream effects of the food choices you’ve been making. Learn once and for all how the foods you’ve been eating are actually affecting your day to day life, and your long term health.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">The programme also claims that</span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>T</i><i>his will change your life.</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>We cannot possibly put enough emphasis on this simple fact—the next 30 days will change your life. It will change the way you think about food, it will change your tastes, it will change your habits and your cravings. It could, quite possibly, change the emotional relationship you have with food, and with your body. It has the potential to change the way you eat for the rest of your life. We know this because we did it, and tens of thousands of people have done it since, and it changed our lives (and their lives) in a very permanent fashion.</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>The physical benefits of the Whole30 are profound. More than 95% of participants lose weight and improve their body composition, without counting or restricting calories. Also commonly reported: consistently high energy levels, improved athletic performance, better sleep, improved focus and mental clarity, and a sunnier disposition. (Yes, more than a few Whole30 graduates said they felt “strangely happy” during and after their program.)</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>The psychological benefits of the Whole30 may be even more dramatic. Through the program, participants report effectively changing long-standing, unhealthy habits related to food, developing a healthier body image, and a dramatic reduction or elimination of cravings, particularly for sugar and carbohydrates. The words so many Whole30 participants use to describe this place? “Food freedom.”</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>Finally, testimonials from thousands of Whole30 participants document the improvement or “cure” of any number of lifestyle-related diseases and conditions.</i></span><br />
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<span style="color: blue; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><i>high blood pressure • high cholesterol • type 1 diabetes • type 2 diabetes • asthma • allergies • sinus infections • hives • skin conditions • endometriosis • PCOS • infertility • migraines • depression • bipolar disorder • heartburn • GERD • arthritis • joint pain • ADD • thyroid dysfunction • Lyme disease • fibromyalgia • chronic fatigue • lupus • leaky gut syndrome • Crohn’s • IBS • Celiac disease • diverticulitis • ulcerative colitis</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">So we've got some pretty bold claims going on right there. Are they true? Well I can't answer for the programme as a whole, all I can do is share my own personal experience of doing it over the past fifteen days, as recommended by my trainer at the <a href="http://www.ordacademy.com/" target="_blank">gym</a>.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">1. This takes a crapload of organisation. I mean really. Until you commit to not eating anything with any added sugar of any kind, you truly have no idea how much of the food that is sold in supermarkets contains sugar. Such as <a href="http://www.sainsburys.co.uk/shop/gb/ProductDisplay?langId=44&storeId=10151&catalogId=10122&productId=432242" target="_blank">bacon</a>. Are you freaking kidding me?! Bacon?! If it doesn't contain sugar, sometimes it contains milk (this is also a no dairy kind of deal). <a href="http://www.sainsburys.co.uk/shop/gb/groceries/sainsburys-diced-chorizo-150g" target="_blank">Chorizo</a>?! Whaaaaaaat?! Why the hell is there milk in chorizo? Aaaaanyway, the point is that you have to carefully read absolutely everything that you put in your shopping basket (except loose broccoli, mainly on account of the fact that there are no words on loose broccoli).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">2. </span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">This takes a crapload of organisation. Seriously.</span><span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"> Given that the programme clearly states that if you ingest (even accidentally) any of the forbidden foods, you go hurtling back to day one (can you imagine that happening on day 29? Gah! I'd probably just round it up to 30 at that point), you're pretty much committing to cooking all of your own food for the next 30 days. Because you can't just pop out in your lunchbreak and grab a quick sandwich (no bread allowed and it's probably got freaking sugar in it anyway) and it's tough to eat in a restaurant (you'd sit there asking "Is it cooked in butter? What kind of oil did you use? Is there sugar in the sauce?" until the waiter clubs you to death with the menu). </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">To recap, it takes a lot of organisation to do this. I recommend doing a bulk cook of compliant food that you like and having it ready in the fridge so that you can just grab it and pop it in the microwave.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">3. It's possible to get bored of food that you really really like. For example, I really like scrambled egg, with bacon (you can buy it without added sugar, thankfully!) and chopped onions. It's the sort of breakfast that I really look forward to at the weekend. But having eaten it pretty much most mornings for the past fifteen days, it's losing its appeal. So get online and research - there are loads of great resources out there with Whole30 compliant recipes. Check out my <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/amerbob/whole30/" target="_blank">Pinterest board</a> as a starting point and <a href="http://www.naturallyleah.com/whole-30/" target="_blank">Naturally Leah</a> has got this down nicely with some great recipes (I'm trying out the green chicken curry tonight - looks really quick and simple, ideal for a busy work night).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">4. Although this isn't really easy, it's not been as hard as I thought it might be. I've had a few moments where I've really missed cheese (mmmmm cheese) but mostly I've been ok and haven't had any major food cravings yet. That's not to say that it's been a sweet ride. In fact for days 2-4 I had a really horrible headache. Three days of full on, pounding headache. I think that was caffeine and sugar leaving my system and let me tell you, they did not go quietly. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">5. It is worth it. It's all worth it. I'm on day fifteen right now and I'm feeling <b>amazing</b>. I have more energy, I feel sharper, more mentally alert. I'm getting so much more done, it's incredible. And (although you're not supposed to weigh yourself) I've lost 12lbs. In fifteen days. So the first week when I was out networking at work events for two nights, nursing a glass of water when everyone else was enjoying wine and pizza? Worth it. The constant and excessive pile of washing up that needs doing? Totally worth it.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'll do another update at the end of the 30 days - watch this space!</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">PS - in Murdoch news, Murdoch is awesome.</span><br />
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<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WhlTncKtOcI/VCqu29XoFnI/AAAAAAAAAp8/o7GK1QdLDYc/s1600/10659179_10152298834117234_4695880774231380472_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WhlTncKtOcI/VCqu29XoFnI/AAAAAAAAAp8/o7GK1QdLDYc/s1600/10659179_10152298834117234_4695880774231380472_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Oh heeeeeeeeeyy!</td></tr>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;"><br /></span>Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-33753299933285199882014-08-04T23:04:00.001+01:002014-08-05T08:35:19.995+01:00A History Lesson<div dir="ltr">
<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Way back when, I used to be seventeen. Seventeenme had a boyfriend and she thought he was amazing. And he was. Until all of a sudden, he wasn't. That swine dumped Seventeenme, which made her very sad. Then she discovered that he had cheated on her, which made her furious, in that overly dramatic way that only really exists for teenagers.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Seventeenme got over it and they ended up being friends, cautiously at first, but then properly to the point where he came to visit Eighteenme in her first year at university and they had a lovely time.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Life happened, as it tends to do and I didn't see him again for the best part of two decades.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We've been Facebook friends for a few years, so I knew that he'd moved to Canada, got married, had kids and so forth. But we hadn't met up at all in that time. So I was really happy to get a message from him asking if I fancied meeting up for a drink while he was visiting the UK.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I walked into the pub, and even though he had his back to me, I knew immediately that it was him. A jolt of recognition, of familiarity. We hugged and started reminiscing about old times. We talked about who we were then and who we are now (him, separated and healing, me tragically spinsterish and relatively comfortable with it).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">As we sat there in the warm summer evening sun, I could see that boy, Seventeenhim, still there inside the man he is today. And in his reflection, I caught glimpses of Seventeenme and remembered the girl I used to be.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Seventeenme was vibrant and passionate. She cared so much that she administered a full arm swing slap across his face when she found out he cheated on her. I've not cared enough to do that before or since. Time has tempered me, perhaps a little too much.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">We're not the same people we were all those years ago. Which is probably for the best, as Seventeenme was a bit of a wanker. But there's still enough of her in me that I could almost hear her sigh regretfully as we parted ways at the end of the night without stealing a kiss. </span></div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-10051529112697686212014-06-04T21:27:00.000+01:002014-06-04T21:27:07.305+01:00Four<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Another blog post to bring my Juneathon effort up to date.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Yesterday, some of the girls at work agreed to do one of these 30 day challenges that seem so prevalent on Facebook at the moment. One of them was me, and I went home clutching a print out of the instructions for the <a href="http://30dayfitnesschallenges.com/30-day-ab-squat-challenge/" target="_blank">30 day ab and squat challenge</a>.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Which in all the kerfuffle surrounding dog bathing etc, I completely forgot about until I got into the office this morning to hear two of my friends talking about how they got on. Oops.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So this evening I did double bubble, and did day one AND day two of the challenge, which involves sit ups, crunches and squats. The whole affair was made much more fun by Murdoch leaping on me several times as I attempted to do the sit ups and crunches, forcing me to fart at him during the squats in an effort to make him go away. Didn't work.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">But that, as well as the usual dog walking, was my effort for Wednesday 4th June.</span></div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-61131018846660072452014-06-04T21:17:00.000+01:002014-06-04T21:17:03.889+01:00Three<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Here comes another one, just like the other one.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Did the dog walk first thing in the morning, went to our usual spot just outside Guildford. We walk there because it's where my dog guy lives, so after the walk I can drop Murdoch off for the day. As I'm going on holiday on Friday and Murdoch will be staying there, I hadn't planned to put Murdoch in this week, instead having the charming little idea that he'd stay at home, all snuggled up and happy to see me when I came home in my lunch break. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Unfortunately, Murdoch had other ideas and the little ingrate legged it up the driveway after our walk and sat outside the garage looking desperately hopeful until I used my key and popped him in his usual crate. Traitor.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">To make matters worse, I had a text from my dog guy in the afternoon forewarning me that Murdoch had rolled around in something unspeakable. He'd been hosed off once, and then on the next walk DID IT AGAIN. Sigh. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Now one of the nice things about Murdoch is that in the usual way of things, he's quite self cleaning. So it's been quite literally years since I had to give him a bath. What a palaver. I blew the dust off the bottle of dog shampoo, ran the water until it was nice and warm and plonked Murdoch into the bath. He sat among the bubbles looking glum while I flannelled him off. At one point he tried to make a break for it, but mostly he sat looking like something out of an RSPCA advert while the water he sat in slowly turned black.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">There then followed a sequence of me chasing him around our tiny bathroom with a towel while he tried to shake off all over everywhere. I'm counting this entire episode as crosstraining.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">After this gentle warm up, I went out to meet up with my <a href="https://www.facebook.com/godalmingplod" target="_blank">running group</a> to lead our Tuesday night session, a gentle chatty run up the river to Shalford and then back to Broadwater Park for a total of 3.5 miles. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">And that was Tuesday 3rd June.</span></div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-39000396707299048282014-06-04T20:59:00.000+01:002014-06-04T20:59:03.991+01:00Two<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I started behind, and behind I remain. It's now the fourth of June and I'm just writing the blog post for the second. Dearie me. Not to worry, I am going to catch up now and will try to keep on top of things for the rest of the month.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So, on Monday 2nd June, I did two dog walks. We went to a different spot for our morning walk - we headed to Blackheath, near Shalford. It's a lovely walk over the common there, and the dogs were quite excited to be somewhere that we usually only go to at weekends. So that was all very jolly.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I had planned to go swimming in the evening, but unfortunately I got caught in a canine snuggle trap, which is near impossible to extricate oneself from. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So just the two dog walks and that will have to do.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Onwards!</span></div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-88723271054477966242014-06-02T21:43:00.000+01:002014-06-02T21:43:18.435+01:00One<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">I hadn't really planned to take part in <a href="http://www.juneathon.com/" target="_blank">Juneathon</a> this year, but my mojo has gone AWOL and I need something to give me a kick up the arse.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">So I decided to start by just doing one thing. So I signed up. 10 minutes ago. Already feeling a bit behind, but n</span><span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">ot to worry, I did do some exercise yesterday, 30 lengths of the pool, 20 front crawl and 10 heads up chatty kicking. Ta-dah!</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Now the blogging may get a little piecemeal towards the end of this week, as I'm off to large it in Ibiza (Guffaw. I fully expect to be tucked up in bed by 10pm each night with a nice cup of peppermint tea) and I don't think the apartment has wifi. But nonetheless, I am Juneathoned right up and ready to roll.</span></div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-31828336694836168992014-01-01T22:32:00.000+00:002014-01-01T22:32:44.885+00:00A New Approach<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-x9QUIQECMtM/UsR_OoNrlxI/AAAAAAAAAjM/S7px6wq7-YY/s1600/1525000_10151798150332234_1685926649_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-x9QUIQECMtM/UsR_OoNrlxI/AAAAAAAAAjM/S7px6wq7-YY/s1600/1525000_10151798150332234_1685926649_n.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
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Yesterday, I decided to write a to <b>be</b> list for 2014 rather than a to <b>do</b> list. Why? Because it occurred to me that sometimes we get too focused on the things that we do (or could do, or should do), rather than thinking about the things that we are, or want to be. Or at least I know I do. I think "oh blow it, I eat too much", but I rarely think about the fact that I'm generally quite kind.</div>
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So I'm not making the usual resolutions. For a start, they have never worked for me. I've never been any happier as a result of making them, or slimmer, or more well-rounded intellectually. So I'm not doing it. </div>
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Here's what I <b>am</b> doing. I'm chucking away the bathroom scales. I saw this on Twitter the other day.</div>
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And it's true. So I weighed myself today and that will be the last time that I weigh myself until 1st January 2015. During the year in between I'm going to worry less about what I weigh, do things that make me happy and we'll see what happens. Doesn't that sound fun?<br />
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In other news, Murdoch turned nine recently, which was very exciting. He celebrated by burrowing his way under my duvet and farting excessively.<br />
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Happy New Year everyone!</div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-67584017529094654032013-11-07T12:28:00.001+00:002013-11-07T12:29:13.511+00:00A million little things<br />
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I have been told off a couple of times recently for not updating my blog. Sorry about that. It's not that I haven't done anything to write about, because I've been up to all sorts. I have a different kind of problem.</div>
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I'm <b>overwhelmed</b>. Not with a big bad thing. There is no Big Bad. Oooooh, it's like season six of Buffy, where they realise that sometimes the badness is just every day stuff that happens *nerd face*</div>
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There are just a million tiny little things that I need to get done and I've been feeling so increasingly overwhelmed by my evergrowing to do list, that I've been paralysed and unable to do any of it. To the point where the most reasonable option for the past couple of weeks has been to come straight home from work and hide under my duvet. It's not very healthy, is it.</div>
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Then on Tuesday evening I had a minor breakthrough. </div>
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At least a year ago (probably closer to two), a friend lent me a DVD box set to watch. I got halfway through it about six months ago and then got busy and didn't watch any more. Ever since, that box set has been sat there bugging me. I have been disproportionately distressed by that box set, just sitting there, not being watched. </div>
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My friend hasn't wanted it back, hasn't hassled me or anything like that. It was just another thing on my list of things to do that I haven't done. On Tuesday I had a revelation. <b>I do not have to watch the rest of that box set.</b> There is no reason on Earth, why I should have to watch that box set. No one is making me worry about this. Phew. </div>
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So on Wednesday morning, I returned it to my friend and immediately felt MUCH BETTER.</div>
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So last night I went one step further and deleted my entire to do list. All of it. It's mostly tidying up and and housework, nothing on there that will cause death or bad hair days. So I got rid of the lot. And felt EVEN better.</div>
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Then I put two things on the list. Just two things. And I did them this morning. I hoovered the flat and put away the enormous and evergrowing pile of clean underwear in the drawer where it belongs.</div>
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I've now got two more things on the list. I need to write a blog (*TICK*) and clean the bathroom. </div>
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The paralysis has been broken and it's time to start getting things done again.</div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-11736694587524815702013-06-30T19:22:00.001+01:002013-06-30T19:22:57.722+01:00In which I bemoan the nonsense of modern songsters.<div style="text-align: justify;">
It's been a couple of weeks since I've blogged, so you'd think that I'd at least have the decency to make this a good one, wouldn't you. Well tough luck kids, because I don't really have much to say. But you've got to learn at some point, it's a tough world out there and you can't always get what you want. Which reminds me of something that has been playing on my mind a bit recently, in a round about sort of way.</div>
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Have you heard that new song by The Wanted? I didn't really know who they were, so I looked them up. As it turns out, they are a fairly generic British boy band. Not really my thing, but actually not too terrible. Until they recently released a monstrosity of a song called "Walks Like Rihanna". It seems to be based around the concept that you can be quite generally shit at everything, but it'll be ok if you walk like Rihanna. Riiiiiiiiight. Does this mean I need to start striding around the place, punctuating my strut with the occasional slut drop on my way over to the office printer? It's inadvisable. I suggested it last week on Facebook, my friend gave it a go, and HR are now involved. I think I'll carry on with my usual plodding gait and be done with it.</div>
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This is not the first time that songsters have advised us to do this sort of thing. Remember when Maroon 5 tried to suggest that it would be a good thing if we all had Moves Like Jagger? Good lord. The man's about 203 years old. And he moved like he didn't have full control of his limbs when he was in his prime. Yesterday, a friend of mine commented that he looked like a giant twiglet. This is true. A twiglet that doesn't have full control of his limbs. And probably tastes considerably less Marmitey, so WHAT'S THE POINT.</div>
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And where will this nonsense end? Will we at some point in the near future be urged to have Hair Like Donald Trump? Toes Like Megan Fox's Thumbs?! (seriously she has toe thumbs, Google it). Call me old fashioned, but for now I'm going to stick to having Naps Like Your Nana.</div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-23095205601171656142013-06-12T18:50:00.000+01:002013-06-12T18:50:48.578+01:00Memories<div style="text-align: justify;">
Memory is a funny thing, isn't it? I have a terrible memory and remember very little of my childhood. I only really recall stories that have been told and retold so many times that the original event is almost meaningless, because the memory lies in the story telling. But I do remember some really stupid stuff.</div>
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It occurred to me today that I cannot recall a single birthday party that I had as a child (unless you count being taken on a plane for the first time on my eleventh birthday, to Paris and my dad MORTIFYING me by speaking to the pilot and getting the entire plane to sing happy birthday to me. Very sweet now, but at the time ground-swallowingly MORTIFYING).</div>
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But I vividly remember the vague feeling of surprise that I felt the first time that I saw a picture of Pat Sharp after he'd had his mullet cut off. I've looked it up. That happened in 1992, so I would have been 14.</div>
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I can't remember the names of most of my teachers, even the ones that I liked. I can't recall the plotlines of books that I have read and sometimes get halfway through a film before faintly realising that I've already seen it. But I remember very clearly having a dream featuring an evil cartoon milkman who was delivering poisoned milk to everyone. It was so vivid that for years I was convinced that I'd seen it on TV, but I've never been able to find a reference to it.</div>
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I had a dog called Lizzie when I was little, right up until I was nineteen. I struggle to remember her face (mainly because I get Murdoch's furry little mooey superimposed on it whenever I try to conjure it up), or how soft to the touch her fur was. But if I know a song, I can name it within the first few notes that I hear.</div>
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What weird memories do you have? Or not have? Is your brain as weird as mine?</div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-27186092866895127952013-05-31T20:26:00.000+01:002013-05-31T20:26:32.923+01:00This week has mostly been like.....<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
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Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-876899053877805886.post-7553371261422497292013-05-21T21:49:00.000+01:002013-05-21T21:49:45.272+01:00Zombie Hoof<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: justify;">
Recently, we have been plagued on our morning walks. </div>
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It all started a few weeks back, with the unfortunate death of a young deer. We don't know how the deer died, only that our dogs discovered the carcass and found it irresistible. It may be the most exciting thing they have ever seen, smelt, eaten. To we mere humans, this carcass may appear unutterably disgusting, a foul, stench-ridden harbinger of doom. To our dogs; manna from heaven.</div>
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After a while, scavengers had pretty much taken the deer leaving only a few scraps. Which is where our problem began. When we were out in the woods early one morning, we called our dogs away from the area that we knew held the deer remains. They all came, but one was not alone. In her mouth, she held what become known as the highest prize of all. The Zombie Hoof. So called because despite our best efforts to dispose of the Hoof it keeps coming back. </div>
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The Hoof has been thrown in a tree. A short while later it was back in a dog's mouth, being paraded about. </div>
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The Hoof was buried in the woods, but sure enough, a while later there it was. Covered in dirt and dog slobber. The Hoof. </div>
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Quite frankly, our nerves are shot. I fully expect to be sat at my desk at work, only to suddenly hear a *tap tap tap* at the window. Zombie Hoof! It's like that bit at the end of the horror movie where the monster JUST REFUSES TO DIE. Except it's already dead. </div>
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It's affecting our lives. We used to have such lovely conversations on our early walks. Now they all go a little like this.<br />
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"I really liked that butterscotch tart it was totally GAH! Zombie Hoof!"</div>
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"Drop it"</div>
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"Drop it"</div>
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"DROP IT!!!!!"</div>
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"Good boy. Now leave it."</div>
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"Leave it"</div>
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"LEAVE IT".</div>
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and so on. </div>
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And just when we thought that matters couldn't get any worse, one of the dogs found Zombie Skull this morning......</div>
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*sigh*</div>
Amyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04883065679081866762noreply@blogger.com2