You know you're scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of blog posts when you're reduced to writing about your dreams. Not your 'hopes and dreams'. Your actual dreams that you had while you were asleep. Please feel free to stop reading now. It's not going to get more exciting as we progress. It's just that I've been poorly. Nothing serious, just a cold and nasty cough. Not life threatening, but certainly bad enough to mean that I spent Saturday through to Tuesday this week in bed feeling sorry for myself. So I've done little else to tell you about, except dream. Sorry about that.
Firstly a real gem. On Tuesday night, I dreamed that I was sat at my desk in the office eating a Tesco melon and grape medley for breakfast, as I often do. In my dream I sit there and start to cry, much to the consternation of my colleagues. I am crying because the melon and grape tub is not as nice as the one I had from Sainsbury's last week. End.
I wish I was making this up, but that really was it.
Then last night, it was even more banal, if you can believe that. Yesterday during the day, I spent half an hour looking for my house key. Couldn't find it. Went to bed. Dreamed that the key was in the pocket of a pair of walking trousers that I'd been wearing. I woke up, looked in the trouser pocket and there was the key! So I'm a dream psychic, but only of the most boring variety possible. Still, at least it saves me the bother of getting a new house key cut.
Oh god. I'm even boring myself with this one. Also, I think the excessive amount of vapour rub I'm swimming around in has made my head go a bit funny. So I'm going to leave it there with the dreams, except to say that usually my dreams are much more interesting. Like the time I dreamed that I was rushed to hospital because I had unrelenting diarrhoea and was told by the doctor in A&E that it was because I was becoming a vampire and my body was therefore rejecting all food. I woke up saying "Kill me now, I DON'T WANT TO BE A VAMPIRE". So there, you go. It's not always fruit and house keys.
Lord, I'm really going now. Please feel free to tell me your most interesting / boring dreams, it's only fair, I promise I won't laugh.