Oh dear. Yesterday was a disaster. Instead of having a calorie deficit, I actually went over my daily calories by 200kcal. Oh dear indeed. I've done this before you know. Had a positive first week - yaaaay! I lost weight! And then an abyssmal second week. As you can imagine, week three doesn't even happen. Why do I do this? I'm not 100% sure. Why would any right minded human being sabotage themselves in goals that we set for ourselves?
I listen to a podcast done by Jillian Michaels - an American personal trainer. In these situations, she asks, what does it afford you to stay fat? What are you getting out of it? I think she's asking the right question. Clearly remaining fat has appeal for me on some level, I think I use it as my excuse, my reason why. Why I don't do stuff. Why I haven't met the right guy. Why I don't have to try. So what happens when my reason why is taken away? I'll actually have to do all of the things that I've been hiding away from. This is scary stuff and when you think about it, it isn't so surprising that a little bit of self-sabotage creeps in. Take away my security blanket?! Not likely!
But this time I'm going to nip it in the bud, I'm going to try asking myself, what will I gain by losing weight? And trying to create enough positives to take away some of the fear. Not an easy task, but one day at a time, I'll chip away at it.
Today has been a good day so far, I'm on track to hit my deficit goal of 1,000kcal. One day at a time...
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